he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
