wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm really busy with my period
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