There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
