Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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