I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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