dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
