went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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