Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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