first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
well you can't waste a boner
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
