babies were throwing up all over the place
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
