dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize