So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
