Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
