You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm always down for nudity.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
