I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
