There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
