I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
