What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
