we have officially lost it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you will always have a special place in my vag
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
