ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
