so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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