We won't sleep together?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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