fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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