SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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