New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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