And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
