Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Too much gin, very little bucket
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
