If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
