I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
