Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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