I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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