I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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