seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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