It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
