Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
