Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
