I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
