I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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