i just wanna soil my oats bro
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
