thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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