I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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