More tranny stories later!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
