The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
