Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he was CRYING into my vagina
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
