Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
