Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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