Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
