i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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