i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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