How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
