Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
