who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
