btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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