apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
