it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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