I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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