Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have tasted many bathrooms
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
