champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
