you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
