i just had sex bonerless
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
