yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
