the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
BRING THE BAGELS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
