I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
