got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm just crazy horny about you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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