how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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